Day 4

Gonna be a productive and low calorie day. I hope.

Planned meals:

Lunch= ramen noodles (not so healthy, but not too bad I guess)

Snack= some fruit or veggie at my parents house

Dinner= small portion of hatever my parents have tonight if I go there for dinner. And I will eat a veggi with dinner, I usually dont.

PLanned exercise= 1 training session on the kinect

                            1 hour on the XL Glider

                            20 knee push ups

                             a few minues using the ab roller

                             100 crunches

Lets see how this plan goesss!

Day 3

Got an account on caloriecount.about.com. That should make the eating part of this easier to figure out,

Breakfast= 14.5oz canned green beans cooked with margarine (160)

                 special k protein bar

Lunch= bologna sandwich

Snack= bologna sandwich, m&ms

Dinner= chicken patty and tator tots

Snack= another sandwich, holy shit what was I thinking!!

Drinks= 2 bottles of mountain dew. ugghh i hadnt had it in a few days went way overboard,

..............

The calories came to about 2,400. OMG  !!!!!!!

I have problems when it comes to eating at my parents house. And with stress eating, so mix the two and you get a day like today.

Missed my first class today on the first day of the semester because my phone shut off in the middle of the night so my alarm didnt go off. Ugh. Getting ready for my second class now and hoping I get my paycheck today because my truck payment was due yesterday.
EDIT** Didnt really miss any classes, it was canceled because my professors wife was having a baby. But i did drive to school for my second class and had to drive right back. ugh.
And my parents loaned me the money for the truck payment until I get my check tomorrow, so that worked out okay too.

Anyways,

I NEED TO STOP EATING SO MUCH!!!!!!

But on a more positive note I danced for about 35 minutes.

Tomorrow I WILL stay under 1400 calories and workout. I WILL!! No more failing! lol

Day2

Second day in and the first was a fail. So today I should work extra hard.

A little sore this morning from yesterdays workout, but will hopefully still manage to fit in a workout after work tonight.

So far I havent had anything to eat.

** Lunch: Big can of sauteed mushrooms.

But really I want to eat everything in my house right now becaue I am so stressed out. Stupid job messed up my paychec, thought I could get it today and was going to pay bills, but no have to wait and now we are gonna be late on 2 bills. Fucking idiots.

FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL

I dont even wanna write what I ate because it is ALOT.

I dont think I can do this.

I will be fat forever!!WAHHHHH!

BACK AGAIN!

Okay so back to the xanga page again.

However I think maybe I will start using this as more of a weightloss journal and a way to vent some feelings. Last time I attempted to do a weightloss journal I gave up, just as I always give up on losing wight in general.

SW: 182,  GW: 135, LW: 153

I have gained some weight recently and am now at my heaviest weight ever (182lbs), and this has completely wrecked my self esteem. To top this off I just caught my fiance talking to another girl about hooking up. I am currently still with him only because he never went through with cheating. He has broken my heart and my self esteem has taken a massive blow too. The girl he was talking to is tiny. I think Ill be comparing myself to her for awhile.

So I have a new found determination to change my body so that I can finally feel confident again.

Here goes nothing, as of right now my change will begin.

Dinner at work= orange juice, root beer, fried bologna sandwich on garlic bread and a tiny bit of goulash. BAD FELICIA!!

Exercise= 2 personal training sessions on the Kinect. They are fairly short but since I am so out of shape right now they got my heart rate up and were hard to finish. Afterwards I stretched really well, so hoping I wont be too sore tomorrow (fingers crossed!)

Possibly working out more tonight even if it is just walking in place while watching tv. Better than sitting down I guess.

** 30 minutes on the XL Glider (about 160 cals.) :), 10 girly pushups, some ab rolling, about 25 crunches.

Now I am drinking water and trying to keep myself from late night snacking. ahhhh

**FAIL : Ended up having a sandwich, then my fiance made homefries when he got home. Damnnn. Hopefully tomorrow goes better.

Nostalgia!

Wow. Haven't written on here in almost 3 years. lol

Well, I should be studying write now for final exams, but it's all DAVE's FAULT that I'm on here instead lol But thats okay I will eventually pull myself away.

Let's see how long I keep this going this time